Why Being a Statesman Is So Much Cooler Than Being a Kingsman

Kim Taylor-Foster
Movies
Movies

SPOILER WARNING: This article contains spoilers for Kingsman: The Golden Circle.

Whether you’ve seen Kingsman: The Golden Circle yet or not, you can’t have missed the clamour about the new boys (and girl) in town. In the sequel to Matthew Vaughn’s hit original, Kingsman: The Secret Service, the American contingent, known as Statesman, breezes in, giving the very British Kingsman crew a run for their money. But which agency is cooler?

Yes, Kingsman has the upmarket clobber, the sophisticated weaponry and the Bond-style gadgets, but Statesman brings something new to the party. We pitted one against the other, with a little help from the experts, in order to determine CATEGORICALLY which team wins out in the cool stakes.

Our very scientific methods involved a Kingsman experience day, where we spent time supping whiskey, trying on clothes and chatting to supervising crew members, who demonstrated some of the sickest weapons and props from Kingsman: The Golden Circle. Using a point-scoring method, seen in the video above, only one team could emerge the winner — and it was Statesman all the way. Here’s how:

Those Outfits

Kingsman The Golden Circle
Because Stetsons.

You think Kingsman, you think the suave Harry. You think expensive tailoring and accessories to match. And then there’s Eggsy. There’s no doubt he looks remarkably well in a suit but he’s rough around the edges — that, of course, is all part of his charm. He’s more faux-street, though, than cool per se; and that orange velvet jacket that takes centre stage in Kingsman: The Golden Circle is more tasteless than tasteful. It’s certainly not cool — unless you’re going for a kind of ironic-cool. Which Eggsy isn’t.

Statesman, on the other hand, has Stetsons. Channing Tatum’s Agent Tequila, Pedro Pascal’s Whiskey and Jeff Bridges’ Champagne in Stetsons, no less. Yeah, it’s a no-brainer.

Superior Firepower

Kingsman 2 channing tatum gun
Tequila's rifle is everything.

While Kingsman has a very impressive custom pistol in its armoury, the British team is seriously lacking when it comes to variety. Yes, the re-machined pistol may have an added underslung grenade launcher, as Armourer Nick Jeffries who worked on the movie tells us, as well as some serious attention to detail, but it’s no match for the firepower of Statesman in terms of coolness.

There’s Whiskey’s revolver for a start. A copy of a Colt Single Action Army of the 1870s, it represents traditional American hardware, but with a modern kick. Tequila’s rifle, meanwhile, is a “45-calibre Marlin lever-action,” says Jeffries. “It has the look of a gun of the 1880s,” he adds before praising it for its modern touches. And nobody spins a rifle quite like Channing Tatum.

Good Spirits

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Merlin and Eggsy can only dream.

STATESMAN HAS ITS OWN WHISKEY. Enough said.

Gadgets, Gadgets, Gadgets

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The Alpha Gel in action.

On the face of it, Kingsman looks to have some of the cooler gadgets. There’s a briefcase that Visual Effects Supervisor Angus Bickerton makes a great case for being the best prop of all time, and a clipboard-cum-iPad that has a “kickass” blade concealed within it. But Kingsman loses points because they’re thwarted by enemy Poppy’s tech on several occasions.

And, well, Statesman has Alpha Gel. What’s Alpha Gel? Concealed inside Agent Whiskey’s Stetson, it’s the lifesaving kit that’s responsible for Harry not dying following the events of the first movie. And keeping Harry alive to fight another day has to be the coolest thing ever.

So there, you have it. It looks like Kingsman is going to have to up the ante for the third film if it’s going to snatch back its cool crown.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle is available on Digital Download now and on 4k Ultra HD, Blu-ray and DVD from December 12, 2017.

Kim Taylor-Foster
Kim Taylor-Foster is Entertainment Editor for Fandom in the UK. She was raised on an unsteady diet of video nasties and violent action flicks.
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