The Summer Olympics are right around the corner and you know what that means: another entry in the Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games series. This time, it’s the mustachioed plumber and his marsupial rival are headed to the warm shores of Brazil in the aptly titled Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games for the Wii U and 3DS.
What can gamers possibly expect from this latest installment?
How’s about Wario abandoning his signature road hog to ride a horse?
And Shadow the Hedgehog doing rhythmic gymnastics!
— SEGA (@SEGA) June 22, 2016
And, well, as Nintendo points out, Bowser Jr. also doing rhythmic gymnastics.
— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) June 22, 2016
All kidding aside, there’s quite a bit for players to do in Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games. Like with previous games in the series, this latest installment will feature a wide range of characters from the Mario and Sonic universes competing in a number of sports from the world event. But what about characters from other franchises?
Some of gaming’s most iconic characters would prove rather effective at certain sports from the Summer Olympics. Let’s explore some of the possibilities!
Wrestling – Zangief from Street Fighter
If anyone is going to grapple opponents into submission in Rio, it’s going to be Zangief, the 400 pound wrestling champion from the Street Fighter series. He’d probably also win a gold medal for that impressively groomed chest hair.
Swimming – Seaman from Seaman
Sure, Seaman might seem like a strange choice, but hear me out. This strange half-human, half-fish from one of the few voice-controlled Dreamcast games is so terrifying, he’d probably scare off his other opponents before the race even starts, allowing him to slowly – and grumpily – make his way back and forth across the lanes while you bark commands into your Dreamcast microphone.
Archery – Hanzo from Overwatch
Hanzo can take down heroes and turrets like nobody’s business, so I’m pretty sure a measly target should be a piece of cake for him. That is of course as long as the hitboxes are as enormous as they are in Overwatch.
Water Polo – Tidus from Final Fantasy X
Waterpolo is a lot like Blitzball, except with less magic, so I imagine Tidus – the main character and Blitzball celebrity from Final Fantasy X – would be great at it. If he wins the gold, maybe his all-consuming demigod of a father will finally respect him!
Rugby – Marcus and Friends from Gears of War
Can you imagine Marcus Fenix and his crew of Muscle Milk chugging buddies from Gears of War barreling down the rugby pitch at full speed, recklessly stiff-arming their opponents into submission? I certainly can. I just hope they remember to leave their Lancer chainsaw guns at home.
Gymnastics – Zero Suit Samus from Metroid
While Samus would probably excel at any Olympic sport, her effortless acrobatic abilities – demonstrated most recently in Super Smash Bros. for 3DS and Wii U – would make her the contender to watch out for in gymnastics.
Table Tennis – Genji from Overwatch
Shooting – John Marston from Red Dead Redemption
All that sharpshooter John Marston would need to do is activate Dead Eye Targeting, basically guaranteeing he’ll hit the bullseye with every shot. Or, if I’m at the controls, he’ll somehow still manage to miss every single shot. I’m not very good at Red Dead Redemption.