‘The Bachelor’: Bowling Trauma, Cannibalism, and Other Awkward Moments From E5

We’re about halfway through Season 22 of The Bachelor and Arie Luyendyk Jr. took the ladies to the romantic city of Ft. Lauderdale to celebrate. But a storm’s a-brewin’ after Krystal, our resident bad girl of the season, felt she was disrespected.

There were a few romantic moments shared when Arie had one-on-one dates with Chelsea and Tia, but that’s not why we’re here. Instead, we’re breaking down the most insane moments from episode five below.

Bowling Date

We all know that bowling is at its most romantic when it’s shared between two people, but unfortunately, it’s a romantic game for twelve on this week’s group date. In an ode to The Big Lebowski, Arie licked a dirty bowling ball, and it really made me miss him pretending to drink his own urine last week.

The ladies are broken up into two teams, with the winners granted an invitation to Arie’s afterparty, so stakes were pretty high. “You see girls desperately fighting for his attention and it’s just not me,” said Krystal, a woman who voluntarily signed up to be on The Bachelor.

Krystal’s Meltdown

Arie felt bad for the losing team, so he changed his mind and invited both teams to spend the night with him. While ten of the girls cheered, Krystal sprouted fangs and completed her transformation into a full-blown she-wolf. On the bus ride home, which sadly took place off camera, she shouted that she felt disrespected and called Arie a liar. Apparently, she takes bowling and all the perks that can come with it very seriously. The temper tantrum continued when they got back to the hotel, with Krystal changing into a bathrobe and packing her bags. When the other women asked if she was not coming to the after party, she simply replied, “I’m not,” with a maniacal smile that sent a chill through my very soul.

Cannibal Kendall

When Kendall got a little alone time with Arie, she pulled out a book of 100 questions to help get to know him a little better.  He chose question 99, which asked whether or not he’d try human flesh if he were visiting a cannibal community. Arie gave it a hard no, but Kendall quickly blurted out that she’d happily try human meat. Just cause she’d be curious, of course.

Bowling Alley Trauma

Krystal eventually got an opportunity to explain her erratic behavior to Arie, and suddenly it all made sense — she had bowling alley trauma as a child. Why didn’t she say so before? Having had two nights to think about her tantrum, Krystal clearly remembered Annaliese’s success sharing her bumper car trauma a few episodes back and decided to give it a whirl. She explained that she grew up in a bowling alley and saw her mom getting her heart broken there too many times. So that will teach Arie to ever change his mind again.

“This is our first fight!” the breathy blonde exclaimed after their tense one-on-one. “It could be our last fight,” Arie replied.

Krystal Gets A Rose

In the most shocking moment of the night (unless you saw the preview for next week that popped up halfway through this episode that showed Krystal telling the other girls they’re heading to Paris in the next episode), the craziest contestant lived to see another rose ceremony. Imagine what it would feel like to be one of the three girls who lost a rose to Krystal. Then again, imagine having lost a rose to a woman named Jacqueline, who I feel very confident in saying I had never seen in my life up until that moment. Naturally, producers didn’t want Krystal to leave when she causes so much conflict in the house, but how did they get Arie to sell his soul to the devil to make it happen?

We’ll find out next week when Arie takes the remaining women to the city of love.