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Jimmy Olsen, Life Wrecking Idiot (Part 4)

Previously on Jimmy Olsen, Life Wrecking Idiot…

In my previous three installments, I talked about how much Superman’s pal Jimmy Olsen is a life wrecking idiot. We talked about how he’s really gullible, how he’s literally a toxic person and point out that he’s kind of a stalker. We’re getting into some heavy psychological problems now! Buckle up!

Jimmy Olsen is a Narcissist!

The next thing that I want to bring up is how much of a narcissist Jimmy Olsen can be. Always getting in the way of things and making sure his name ends up in the headlines. Some may say he’s doing it because he’s generally good hearted guy, but the below will prove the contrary… He’s nothing more than a narcissist

“The Boy Millionaire!” – From Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #3

Jimmy Olsen #3 - Boy Millionaire 01

“While you might be happy to wear the same old rags, I am bred from better stock and deserve the best!”

Jimmy gets into some money when he saves a cat trapped in a safe owned by a woman who is both crazy rich, and just downright crazy. He actually calls Superman in to rip open the safe. Even Superman can’t help but note how much of a waste of his time it is.

Jimmy Olsen #3 - Boy Millionaire 02

Jimmy is also a massive hypocrite. Cats are left to die in Metropolis on Jimmy’s watch unless they’re a plot device.

Anyway, the old lady doesn’t believe that Superman saved the day and hails Jimmy as a hero and gives him a cool million dollars. A million dollars in 1955 is approximately $8,927,649.25 in today money!  Jimmy goes from cub reporter to total a-hole, as he flaunts his money around.  Living the rich life he becomes such an insufferable snob that he even throwing out a “soiled” $1000 bill (which is $8,927.65 in today money). He also quits his job at the Daily Planet because, why work when you’re suddenly rich?

Jimmy Olsen #3 - Boy Millionaire 03

We all remember when slaves used to have decent jobs and earn a steady living? Right? Right!? Hello, is this thing on?

Jimmy certainly doesn’t have the humility of your average blue collar lotto winner. As these things tend to go, crooks find out about the money and try to trick him into giving it to them. Trapped in a room while the crooks wait for Superman to show up, Jimmy and Lois burn all the money. Jimmy has to eat a humble pie and beg for his job back. But as we’ve all plainly seen here, Jimmy becomes an ego-maniac once he gets a bit of extra cash in his pockets.

“The Six Jimmy Olsen’s” – From Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #13

Jimmy Olsen #13 - Six Jimmy Olsens 1

“Great Scott! They’re multiplying and will soon conquer the world!”

Jimmy answers an ad in the newspaper asking for Jimmy Olsen to help aid in a mystery. When he arrives at the scene he finds five other kids who are also named Jimmy Olsen. After some deliberation, Jimmy agrees to let all these similarly named kids hang out with him. How egotistical do you have to be, that you would chum around with five other people who have the same freaking name you do!? Not only that the Jimmy Olsen gives them all demeaning names that identify them by physical traits.

Jimmy Olsen #13 - Six Jimmy Olsens 2

The Jimmy Olsen we all are growing to hate calls himself “Cub” Jimmy, because apparently a black festering soul is a hard thing to define with a single descriptor.

The frightening thing about all this is that all these kids resemble Jimmy in one way or another. Now before you start demanding that Jimmy’s dad take a daytime talk show’s paternity test, I should point out that Jimmy’s father died in a train wreck.

Jimmy Olsen #123 - Dead Dad

If you were Jimmy Olsen’s dad wouldn’t you fake your death?

At least we can all be happy in the knowledge that Jimmy is living up to the family tradition by growing up to be a train wreck!

Next Time on Jimmy Olsen, Life Wrecking Idiot…

Jimmy Olsen: Culturally insensitive or blatantly racist? You be the judge!


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Nick Peron

Nick Peron is a stand-up comedian from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Dubbed "Ottawa's Creepiest Comic" he has been banned from performing in China. He can be found online at www.nickperon.com

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