Everyone is so preoccupied with who’s going to make it out of Game of Thrones Season 8 alive, no one’s paying attention to who shouldn’t make it out of Westeros alive. Considering the show’s penchant for bad bros and wicked women, here are eight characters who need to be in the ground before it’s all over — or we riot.
While he bears little resemblance to his depraved counterpart in the novels, Pilou Asbæk’s Euron Greyjoy is still totally and joyfully irredeemable. The swaggering pirate king isn’t even loyal to his own family, nakedly attempting to eliminate Yara , Theon and anyone else who stands in the way of his path to dominance. The only person he shows the pretense of respecting is Cersei and that’s just because he wants her chair. He’s a sociopathic narcissist who makes bad eunuch jokes and wears way too much guyliner. We don’t care how sick his ship is, if he makes it out of Season 8 alive, someone owes us money.
As priestesses go, Melisandre’s always been pretty morally bankrupt. She’s sacrificed countless lives in her ongoing quest to do what she thinks R’Hllor commands of her. After Shireen’s death and Jon’s banishment of her, she’s found her way to some remorse, and she remains committed to helping Jon and Dany defeat the Night King , even if it means she’s working behind the scenes. But that doesn’t change the fact that she spit-roasted a small child for luck – and there’s no coming back from that. Also, if all goes according to plan, her work will be done when the Long Night is over, and the centuries-old woman is due for a break. The next person the Red Priestess sacrifices should really be herself.
Ser Jorah Mormont
Jorah Mormont’s purpose in life is proving to Dany that he’s her most loyal servant. It’s been his driving motivation since Season 1 and as the show’s progressed, we’ve watched him capture Tyrion, attempt sacrifice himself in the Mereenese fighting pits, beat greyscale and go zombie hunting beyond the Wall all in the name of showing Dany how devoted he is to her. This drive stems both from his guilt at spying on her early on and his genuine affection for and belief in his queen, so why deprive him of living his best life and dying her service? Anything less would deny him the happy ending he deserves.
The Night King
One of the themes highlighted in Season 7 is that the war on death never really ends. Beric Dondarrion points this out to Jon when they’re getting to know each other in “Beyond the Wall”: Death is the enemy. The first enemy and the last. The enemy always wins, and we still need to fight him.” This makes us think there’s a chance the Night King won’t be killed per se, but subdued for another few millennia as he was after the first Long Night. But, frankly, we won’t be satisfied until Viserion’s murderer receives the Queen’s justice he deserves. Here’s hoping the Night King takes his leave once and for all at the end of Season 8.
Some might say death would be too good for a woman who’s so self-serving she blew up a hundreds of innocent citizens just to get rid of the High Sparrow. And considering Cersei’s taste for creative torture (see: Ellaria Sand), it’d be fitting for the show to condemn her to a similarly demented fate. But we disagree – Cersei’s way to irredeemable to survive, but Game of Thrones has done too good a job at humanizing the Mad Queen for us to hope she winds up starving to death in a black cell. Cersei needs to go out, but preferably she’ll get to do so quickly and/or with a bit of style.
To be clear, Bran isn’t on this list because we want the crippled, orphaned teenager to die. He’s on this list because we don’t want him to continue living – at least not in his current state of existence. As the new Three-Eyed Raven Bran has unparalleled power and endless evolutionary possibilities at his disposal. If his entire journey only leads up to him assisting his family in the war against the Night King and then remaining at Winterfell to be Sansa’s Counselor Troi , it’s going to feel anticlimactic. A more satisfying end to his story would be some kind of spectacular transformation that sees him finally transcend the physical body that’s holding him back from reaching his full potential.
As much as we wish there was a place for Qyburn in the new world Dany wants to build, it’s pretty obvious she wouldn’t tolerate a mad scientist with a taste for human experimentation – regardless of how courteous he is. She’s also not going to be keen on him if she ever realizes he’s the one who built the Scorpion that wounded Drogon on the Field of Fire. And beyond all of that, he’s Cersei’s most loyal servant, making him very guilty by association. As much as we’d love to see him take his team of murderous children and make a new life in the Free Cities, it’d feel unbalanced and unfair for him to somehow survive the final conflict.
There is not one single person in Westeros that is less fun than Gregor Clegane , both before and after his transformation. His brother Sandor literally runs over an innocent child for fun in “The Kingsroad,” and we’d still rather have tea with the Hound than be within a ten-mile radius of the Mountain. Say what you will about Euron, at least he’s entertaining. The Mountain’s always been a blunt instrument, a symbol of the most toxic masculinity Westerosi culture has to offer. While he’s alive, Elia Martell remains unavenged, her children remain unavenged and Oberyn remains unavenged. We’re not desperate to see an over-hyped Cleganebowl, but if that’s what it takes to finally put an end to Gregor Clegane, sign us up.
Game of Thrones Season 8 premieres on HBO in 2019.