This week’s episode of The Bachelor was like watching a car crash, but that’s because Arie Luyendyk Jr. literally had the ladies slam into one another in a demolition derby. Who says romance is dead?
The two hours we spent with “Pillow Lips” Arie and his hopeful female suitors revealed all sorts of things about the contestants, including carnival-themed childhood traumas that left one of the ladies in tears.
With plenty of head-scratching scenes to choose from, let’s break down the five most cringe-worthy moments from Episode 2.
Producers likely chose the night’s date due to Arie’s profession as a race car driver, but did they bother to consider the consequences of having the women crash cars into their fellow competitors? It seems like an event where the contestants can get injured isn’t the safest way for them to get to know each other better. But, hey, the things we’ll do for love, right?
Everyone Watching: "Look we're having trouble telling the girls apart. Can you help us out?"
Harrison: "How about a demolition derby where all the girls wear helmets?"
Everyone: #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/DSFWxENtJz
— Arie (@TheFakeBachelor) January 9, 2018
Bumper Car Trauma
“This is, like, my worst nightmare,” said Annaliese through tears after admitting that the group date reminded her too much of a horrible experience she had with bumper cars as a child. We immediately assumed that she was somehow horribly injured in an amusement park accident, but she actually just didn’t enjoy the ride. She was traumatized by the fact that everyone kept hitting her with their bumper cars, making her feel so alone. (But a big congrats to Annaliese for both pushing through her fears and for having such an incredible life that riding bumper cars was one of the most traumatic moments she’s ever experienced.)
— Amanda Habener (@AmandaHabener) January 9, 2018
Producers really came through with that slowed-down “flashback” to kids laughing on bumper cars while eery circus music played in the background, though.
The Coveted “Most Hardcore” Award
Brittany T. disappeared with an undisclosed injury after the derby because apparently being slammed into by a bunch of old cars is indeed dangerous after all. Arie checked in on her the next day and brought a gift to help make her feel better. Naturally, a rose would have been the one thing to actually heal her pain, but surely she was just as thrilled to get a simple piece of paper that declared her the “Most Hardcore” of the group. Brittany graciously accepted the certificate before instantly folding it in half and returning to the rose ceremony to see if she would survive the night.
Watching #TheBachelor and one girl got gifted Louboutins, the other a paper certificate saying she was the “Most Hardcore” driver.
I’m no shoe expert, but I think the second girl got screwed.
— Ryan Satin (@ryansatin) January 9, 2018
"Most hardcore" award….will look good under Achievements on your resume. #TheBachelor
— Sandy M. (@sanndeemm) January 9, 2018
Bibiana Goes Off
The competition quickly got the best of fiery Bibiana, who did not appreciate being unable to get alone time with Arie on the giant group date. She stormed off and threatened that the cameras had better not follow her into the night. She doubled down on her anger the next night when Krystal interrupted her long-awaited one-on-one time with the bachelor, attacking the contestant for her selfish ways. Krystal already had a rose, so it’s hard to blame Bibiana for her outrage. In fact, most viewers seemed to be #TeamBibiana in the series’ newest feud. But after warning Krystal to sleep with one eye open, Arie will have to have a thing for women who deliver subtle death threats in order for the two to have a future together.
— Paige Giffon (@_paigegiffon_) January 9, 2018
— Burnt Brownie. (@JoanaGracio) January 9, 2018
— Drunk Dolphin (@DrunkDolphinGal) January 9, 2018
Jenny’s Uncomfortable Elimination
When Arie decided not to give Jenny a rose, the 25-year-old didn’t exactly take it well. She refused to give Arie a goodbye hug or look at him as she trudged out of the room, leading to a truly awkward elimination. When our leading man chased after her for some consoling, she let him know that “I’m not sad about you. I’m sad about leaving my new friends.” But we’d venture to guess that not surviving long enough to gain any fame from the show also had something to do with her breakdown.
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) January 9, 2018
Plus, she declared that this is the first time she’s ever been dumped. “I literally came into this thinking I would end up with him, but he literally picked a taxidermist over me,” she admitted. “I feel like I embarrassed myself.”
“I’m not sad about you, I’m sad about leaving my new friends” aka “I’m sad I didn’t make it past week 2 bc now I can’t sell sugar bear hair pills on instagram” #TheBachelor
— Bec (@becccathomas) January 9, 2018
— ThatBachelorDude (@dude_bachelor) January 9, 2018
"But … I made friends here," random blonde girl explains to Arie why she's so heartbroken.
Oh, honey. I think you missed the point. It's all about the Instagram sponsorships. Not the friends. #TheBachelor
— Bachelor Burn Book (@bachelorburnbk) January 9, 2018
That’s all for now, but don’t worry Bachelor fans. We’ll be back next week to highlight the inevitable awkward moments from the upcoming professional wrestling date.