5 Most Bizarre Marvel Characters

Kim Taylor-Foster
Comics Marvel
Comics Marvel

Never let it be said that Marvel’s talented team of creative individuals don’t have a sense of humour. While they may take their art very seriously, there’s always room for a big dollop of fun. And sometimes that comes in the form of some truly bizarre characters. Here are five of the strangest.

Hellcow

A cow from hell? Almost. Hellcow’s origin story involves a run-in with Dracula. Yes, Dracula is also a character in the Marvel universe. Merrily minding her own business on her farm, Bessie is attacked by the super-thirsty Lord of Darkness, unable to find any human prey to sink his teeth into. When the farmer finds Bessie’s body the next day, he buries her. Only for her to emerge three nights later from six feet under.

Doomed to feed on human blood for the rest of her existence, she heads off in search of Dracula, the bloodsucker who turned her – for the next 300 years. At one point teaming up with Deadpool and temporarily turning him into a vampire, Hellcow is also staked through the heart by Howard the Duck. Naturally.

And if you’re wondering if this undead beast will ever exist within the Marvel Cinematic Universe, hold onto your hats – because she already does. The above clip from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. proves it.

Eminem

Marvel-Eminem-Punisher
Eminem makes an awesome double act with The Punisher.

Yep, good old Marshall Mathers III popped up in a comic — alongside The Punisher. In it, the rap star and the anti-hero vigilante team up after a plot against Eminem goes awry. After the two are kidnapped by villain Barracuda and taken by boat to the Arctic, his plan to dump Eminem in the ice and sell Eminem merchandise on the Internet is revealed.

Turns out the hit was funded by the Parents Music Council. The story’s dramatic climax plays out in gangster fashion, with the frozen sea meaning Eminem is able to walk away after Barracuda attempts to carry out his plan. A chance meeting with a fisherman, who is also a big fan, results in the acquisition of a chainsaw — which allows Slim Shady to free the Punisher, cutting off Barracuda’s fingers in the process.

But there’s a twist in the tale. The Punisher leaves Eminem stranded on a circle of ice, throwing him the boat’s satellite phone before heading off to slay the Parents Music Council. Genius.

Santa

She-Hulk-Santa-Marvel
Santa, you old flirt.

Santa Claus could well be the most powerful being in the entire Marvel universe. Cerebro at one time detected his presence, registering him the most powerful mutant ever. He once wiped the memories of the X-Men and packed them off to enjoy a Merry Christmas complete with snow.  He was also captured by Adolf Hitler during WWII, when the dictator wanted to destroy the morale of the American people. But he was rescued by Captain America, Bucky Barnes and Nick Fury. Phew.

Santa even had a flirtation with She-Hulk during a period when he was working as a detective. However, Mrs. Claus swiftly put a stop to it. He has also crossed paths with Luke Cage and Iron Fist as well as Captain Marvel.

Big Bertha

Big Bertha-Deadpool
Big Bertha and Deadpool arranging a date.

Mutant Ashley Crawford has the power to shape her body to her will, moving her fat around to increase or reduce her size. After expanding, to shrink back down she has to make herself sick in order to expel the excess bulk.

She started out as a supermodel after honing herself the perfect body, and amassed a lot of money which she used to help finance a Milwaukee-based superhero group known as the Great Lakes Champions, formerly called Great Lakes Avengers. This is when she adopted the name Big Bertha, using her powers to turn into a WOMAN MOUNTAIN. At one point, she was part of a team assembled to kill Deadpool. The mission failed. Deadpool has a crush on Big Bertha, but only in giant form. She continued to juggle her modelling work with superhero duties, eventually becoming a plus-size model.

Tommy Wiseau

Tommy Wiseau-Marvel
Tommy Wiseau is still at large in the Marvel universe.

Wiseau recently came to prominence again in James Franco’s The Disaster Artist. But the enigmatic and eccentric director has also featured in the Marvel universe. As an alien and villain. Hunted by the Guardians of the Galaxy.

It was when he was hiding out on Earth that he made the film The Room, which gained cult status after being declared one of the worst films ever made. In Spider-Man/Deadpool Vol. 1 #12, Deadpool gives Captain Marvel a copy of The Room on DVD which is when she reveals all.

Kim Taylor-Foster
Kim Taylor-Foster is Entertainment Editor for Fandom in the UK. She was raised on an unsteady diet of video nasties and violent action flicks.
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